I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
