i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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