found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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