even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm too high and old for this...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
