Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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