Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
