One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Terrible idea I love it
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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