Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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