it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
