Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
