yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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