Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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