how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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