why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
you made out with another girl for some wings
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
