You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
