there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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