lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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