I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
