Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
