i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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