In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
