Me too!
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
