I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
