2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
