oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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