This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
