Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
