we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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