Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
