I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
