please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
