i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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