I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Liz is crying about burritos again.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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