I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
