I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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