I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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