I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
