standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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