Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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