Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
