what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
