i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
