Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Come on in and take your pants off
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
