What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
