Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
