Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
