I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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