I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
my god I love twenty year old dicks
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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