would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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