I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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