Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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