I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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