Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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