no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
