between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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